This week another mum asked me, ‘Is she yours?’
Now, the mum in question didn’t mean to be rude or hurtful (I think!). She had recently found out that Big is adopted and was enquiring about Little.
I answered, ‘Yes, she’s adopted too.’ Which I hope gave her the answer to her question but also let her know that she is mine.
But she’s also someone else’s. What that mum meant was ‘did I give birth to her’. No, I didn’t. Her birth mum did that and maybe one day she will play a part in their lives again.
Without telling too much of the girls story, no one fought for our girls. No one came to court to ask for the adoption not to go through. No one answered any phone calls or letters. No one asked for contact.
At the time, I’ll be honest, this made that part of the process easier for us. But that is part of the girls story and one day they’ll know about it. And I’m not sure how they’re going to feel about it. 18 months further along the journey and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
So yes, she’s mine. They both are. But they have another family and they have a role in our story too. How big a role, I’m not sure. That’s up to the girls. Will we ready for that part of the story, probably not. But then, I’ve not really been prepared for any part of it and we’re all still here.
The best bits
Big had a Scottish Day at nursery this week. They had someone in playing the bagpipes which she really doesn’t like. The amazing thing is that she asked for her ear defenders! This is the first time that she’s asked for help in any way. I was very proud.
Little had gymnastics this morning. They had the parallel bars out and she swung onto the lower one, swung a few times then hooked her feet up all by herself. Again, I was very proud.
And I’ll just show you this photo, this is what Little did this morning, instead of putting her clothes on. Her vest and knickers were perfectly in the right place underneath. I really wish I could show you the next photo I took because when we did get her dressed, she laid down in the same spot, arms out and everything and said ‘I’m ready!’