Messing about on the river…*


I had a whole other post planned for tonight. Most of it was written in my head. And then we had a magical afternoon and I thought I should write about that instead.

We took the kayaks to a wee beach near us, put the girls in their wetsuits and went for a paddle. This is the first time that both of us have gone on the water. Usually I sit on the shore with one of them and the other goes out with my husband. Mainly in case someone is needed for loo trips or sudden lapses in confidence but also because I’m not a confident a paddler as my husband.

I took Little, we pushed off and I didn’t need to see her face to know how much she was smiling. I looked over at Big and she had a huge grin on her face. There was nobody else around, just us on the loch and it was perfect.

We haven’t had many happy days recently. Both girls have been finding things hard. But today, out on a loch, with no one around, they relaxed and giggled and voiced feelings. When we did their ‘best bits’ books, both of them said kayaking.

I hope we can keep giving the girls these opportunities. There is not much that Big is willing to say that she enjoys but kayaking is a genuine, happy smile moment for her. I was so proud of both of them today. Today was good.

The best bits

For family day we bought an infinity rose to plant in the garden. Little said ‘It will live in the garden forever and I will live in the house.’

Both girls are doing really well in the swimming pool. Both much more confident. On Friday when we went, I thought ‘we might get there’. Which is the first time in two years that I’ve thought that and gave me hope.


3 thoughts on “Messing about on the river…*

  1. We are in a very similar place to you but a year behind. Your posts give me hope that we may begin to have some breakthroughs. I really hope to see my daughter genuinely smiling at something one day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really hope you do and I’m sure you will. It’s so hard and there are days when I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. And then we’ll have a good minute, then two then half an hour and it makes it okay for a while. I hope you’re doing okay.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks so much for the reply. I sometimes think we are doing pretty well considering it’s only been a year and then something happens and we are transported back to the beginning! I’m holding on to the fact that the gaps between good and seriously bad are getting longer 😀. X


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