Like Goldilocks, everyday I wake up searching for ‘just right’. What I invariably end up with is ‘too crunchy’, ‘too chewy’, ‘too milky’, ‘too sandy’, ‘too juicy’.*

We usually walk to school. It provides a buffer between home and school. It gives us some repetitive exercise. It gets us some fresh air and a lot of the time this works really well. For it to work really well though, there is an extremely scientific calculation that has to take place.

We have to start getting ready at a time where there is a natural lull in whatever we’re doing. We have to start getting ready at a time that allows for several meltdowns but doesn’t see us leaving too early. We have to leave enough time on the journey to allow for meltdowns/picking EVERYTHING up off the floor/being kicked in the head/fighting over who gets to press the button at the crossing/playing hopscotch on every square paving flag etc etc. We have to arrive at nursery and school so that we can just walk straight in, we can’t wait around as this creates so much anxiety.

Of course, there is no extremely scientific calculation. There’s just me. And some days it’s ‘just right’, some days it’s ‘just okay’  and some days it’s ‘just awful’.

These calculations take place whenever we go anywhere or have any transition. Getting ready to leave somewhere requires all of the above plus a steely determined, ‘I realise my child is punching me in the face, I have it under control’ look at whoever might be looking kindly/passing judgment/staring with wide eyed horror.

It’s a bit moany this, I realise, but my brain hurts and I would just like to rest it for a bit. I would just like to leave the house in the morning and go to school. I would just like to say, ‘time to go home now’ and everybody come. But they don’t. So tomorrow I shall strive for ‘just right’ again and I shall try REALLY hard to get us where we need to go in exactly the right way and at exactly the right time.

* We had porridge the other day. One was too milky, the other was ‘not jammy enough.’

The best bits

Little put a huge courgette in her doll’s buggy today and pushed it all the way to the shop with me. She made everyone smile (some wryly) and had a lovely time.

On Tuesday, Big gave me a hug when she came out of school.


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