I had a whole post written about secondary trauma but after I read through it, I decided that it was so unhappy I couldn’t publish it. This week I read a lovely post from NowWeAreSix about the progress they have made. This post is inspired by reading their wonderful achievements.
Since Big has started at school, Little and I have our lunch together. This has been a total revelation. We chat. We have conversations. Obviously one of the people in the conversation is 3 so we’re not debating climate change or the state of Britain but I say something, she replies, I say something linked, she says something else linked. It’s amazing and I love it. She tells me about her morning, about her snack, about who she played with and where and sometimes she asks me questions about what I was doing. We make lunch together or she potters about and it is a lovely half hour in the day.
I’ve not been so good this week. After a very tricky morning, I put 2 fruit pastilles in Little’s snack bag for on the way home from nursery. With no prompting from anybody, she opened the bag, looked in and gave a sweet to me to ‘make it all better mummy.’ She’s, shall we say, quite food driven so sharing her snack is a big thing.
Big has been trying very hard in gymnastics. It’s something we want to persevere with if we can as it addresses a lot of the skills that she needs help with. This week she went forwards over the high bar. She was given a choice of whether she wanted to do it and I heard her clearly say, ‘I want to.’
This morning I went on a ‘sound and number walk’ with Big’s class. I had a lovely wee group of children who were very confident shouting out letters and numbers that they spotted. When I took my group back to the classroom, I got them sorted, gave Big a hug and a kiss goodbye then set off. Big followed me out of the classroom to give me another hug. I had tears in my eyes on the way home.
My brother was up this weekend with his dog. Both the girls are getting so much more confident with the dog. It used to take them the whole weekend to be able to go near him but I have a lovely photo of them both lying next to him and ‘fluffing’ him.
We have a wee patch of woods near our house that we go to a lot. Today we had another gymnastics ‘competition’ and when it was my turn I finished in a straight shape. When it was Little’s turn, she did a huge jump, then got down on the floor to do a perfect pike shape. It was so lovely as it was so spontaneous. (It obviously made perfect sense to her, mummy chose a straight shape, I’ll choose a pike shape.) The next time she did it, she finished with a straddle shape.
Also this evening, and this is possibly one of my favourite moments ever; they did a show. A spontaneous bout of singing and dancing for their audience (me.) It was led by Little but Big had a good go and it was wonderful.
There are wee moments like this in every week and it’s good to think about them, to record them, to put them at the front of my brain. To remember that we do have happy times too. I’m finding it very easy just now to get very caught up in the negative and it feels good to think about the positives.
The best bits
This weekend we went to the beach. The girls are beginning to be able to stay at task for a bit longer now. We digged a big hole then made a ‘tunnel’ down to the sea. Big and I were on water duty, rushing to fill the hole with water, while Little was responsible for where the water went. We then went over to the river and spent ages damming it up. They worked so well together and with us. They got far wetter than they should have done for the 1st October but skin’s waterproof and we had hot chocolate when we got home.